Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
