Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
