Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
