When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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