I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
