I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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