We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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