do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
