Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
