In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The feeling are messing with the penis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
