he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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