My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
