I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
