Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
