When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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