It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
