Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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