I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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