I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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