Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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