I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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