My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize