I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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