I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize