is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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