But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
