I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
