You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
