Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
