I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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