if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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