do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
