she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize