I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
