it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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