I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
