please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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