My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
im on a boat
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