I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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