My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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