Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
