I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
