You're so nebulous sometimes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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