if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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