last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
