I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize