so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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