I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
