Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
