Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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