you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
