maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
