The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
