Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
