you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
