Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
