the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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