I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
