just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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