can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Don't make out with my wife yet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
