All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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