Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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