I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
