Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize