somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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