Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
