so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize